Just popping in for a brief fail report. After all, nothing warms the heart and puts pep in the step more than tearing the Twilight series (It's not a saga, and they can't make me say it is) a new one!
CAPSLOCK Watch in Effect:
Just started reading Twilight (Sweet Crying Baby Jesus only knows why), and whilst laughing my cheeks off at Bella's wangst about ZOMYCROW, FORKS IS LIEK TORCHURE because it's always raining and Charlie's always taking her on fishing trips . . .
If it's really the rainiest place in the country (as in way more than my hometown's 100+ rainy days/year), CHARLIE WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO SPEND EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND FISHING, BECAUSE FISH DON'T EAT WHEN IT'S RAINING!!
I'm sorry, but all Meyer needed to prevent this fail was one conversation with anyone who's ever fished!
. . I don't think I can do this. Three pages in, and already the suck is overwhelming! I try to just focus on the punctuation, but then I see the grammar errors, and it just keeps snowballing, and . . . This is insane! How do sporkers do this?!
Mervin has superpowers. This is clearly the only explanation.
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